Some wants to talk but gets no chance to meet.
Some gets a chance to meet but doesn’t want to talk.
“Darling, can you help me with this?”
“Can’t you just wait until I finished chatting with my friends?”
“I need your help now, daughter.”
“Mom! Can’t you just wait huh? I’m so upset now!”
I am positive that this conversation is so familiar for most mother and children. To be honest, for most teenagers, whatever happened, parents often come last. Most of teenagers choose to give attention to their friends and lovers before family. And if it’s happened to be comparing, happiness usually ties with friends or lovers as most teenagers chose to call for friends once good things happened. On the other hand, sadness usually ties with parents as the family is the first thing that comes up when sadness appears. Am I right?
But do you know? Many people haven’t talked to their parents for a while. Some wants to talk but gets no chance to meet. In contrast, some gets a chance to meet but doesn’t want to talk.
I was a teenager and I used to act childish as I chose my friends before family. But now, no matter how people say that I am still a teenage, I strongly disagreed with that because for me, family always comes first. I am not saying this to show that I am a good daughter. I just wanted to warn everyone that you can not turn back to the past. There is no second chance to fix what you have already done, especially with your own parents.
I did have both good and bad times with my mom before she left to the beautiful heaven. When I was young, I often fought with her and was against whatever she thinks is right. I did not even care whether she would have to shed her tears because of me. I always regret what I did badly to her such as my rude behavior or at least, I should not have scolded her.
Since I was a little girl, I always love to sing. I hoped one day I would become a singer. The person whom always supported me was my mom. She encouraged me to go to singing school and also supported in whatever I would like to do.
Whenever I got a chance to be involved in a singing competition, my mom never told me that I must win. She told me to do the best I can and not to worry about the result. However, I never win. I cried so hard after I knew the result as my expectation was to win in order to get a chance to be singer. “Don’t worry my dear, you can do it better,” my mom always said. ”You are the best singer of mine.” I just realized now that those words were the best strength I have never had and I will not be able to get it from anyone if it’s not my mommy.
Two years ago, I got a chance to be a singer of GMM Grammy Company. The first thing that came up on my mind was my mom. I always missed her when I was on stage. I wished that she is watching me from somewhere and hopefully, she would be proud of me.
I wish I could stay with her longer. I wish I could hug and kiss her like any other kids did. Every time I see my friends and siblings hug their mom, I feel sad. I feel envious actually.
For most people, staying altogether the whole family seemed like a regular lifetime, but for me, it does no longer exist. It is too painful living in reality. I no longer have her. I do wish that I could turn back to the past. I would hug her tightly and tell her how much I miss her. I would try my best to be a better daughter.
This Songkran festival was the thirteenth anniversary for her disappearance. Although it has been thirteen years, all memories are still with me. I wanted to have a chance once again to remember her gentle voice, her soft scent, and her sweet smile. The only thing that seems to be possible for me is to imagine.
Few days ago, I went to the Retirement house for a donation. The first thing I felt is that how cruel children leave their own parents. It is confusing and also, I felt envious. It is unfair! Those children have their beloved parents beside them but they decided to leave them there. I really had no idea why they did that.
However, the officer told me that ninety percent of those old people were left at the hospital by their own children and were sent to the retirement house by the polices. I can feel that those people miss their children a lot. This place may full of same age friends but it still lack of love and care from family.
I talked to one old man whom I called him grandpa. He asked me a favor to tell his son that he miss him and also worried about him a lot. I asked him when the last time his son visits was, he said he can not remember. Even I had never known him before, I felt sad with him. That was too poor to be true.
I think that this is the great example of a person who gets a chance to meet but doesn’t want to talk. And I definitely am the great example of a person who wants to talk but gets no chance to meet, anymore.
Mommy, can you hear me? I am doing fine here and I do miss you a lot! I wanted to say thank you so much making me as I am now. I always appreciate you love and I promise that I will always be a good person as you wanted me to be.
I don’t know whether my mom could hear me or not, I’m just trying to say it out loud. For anyone who can make sure that your mother listen to what you are trying to tell, please say it right here and right now. Who knows? When your last chance comes?
ไม่มีความคิดเห็น:
แสดงความคิดเห็น